Why do they keep sending me this shit?

Dear friends, especially you young people venturing out into the big world of work for the first time.
The following is an actual unsolicited job description I received today and I though it might be helpful if I
applied my years of experience to help you decode this message.

My comments in BOLD

If this stikes a chord with you and feel it might help someone else please feel free to pass it on.

Bill Gates will NOT send you $600.00 if you do.
Nor will I.



Subject: Interactive Art Director Position in NJ which might interest you.....



Hi, I saw your details online (I'm always trolling for fresh meat) and wondered if you would be interested in the following position,....ideally the client would like it to be a consulting to perm position (There's no fucking way we are going to commit to you because if you show the least amount of spark or are willing to fight for your work, you are the fuck out of here after we first work you to the point of a complete nervous breakdown), but the client will consider perm from day one (if you are an obvious sheep with no will power to stand up for yourself or a complete hack who will take what they are willing to pay).

TITLE: Interactive Art Director

Our client is looking for a bright, energetic (young, impressionable and easily cowed) and detail oriented (maybe a bit anal and obsessive would be nice) Interactive Art Director who can think in Internet time (work your ass off all fucking night long to meet unreasonable deadlines).
You'll bring your years of experience (for which we will grossly underpay you) to a fun (your superiors will have fun chronically busting your balls), and fast-paced (relentless and unreasonable) Advertising Agency (agents of Satan on Earth).

You will be responsible for the preparation of time and cost estimates (which is probably your boss' job) and guiding web projects through design, programming and QA, (which is also at least 2 other people's jobs) while assuring quality and timeliness are met (and take all the fucking blame when everyone else drops the ball). Ability to handle multiple priorities (you WILL be overworked) in an ever-changing environment (you'll never know which fucking end is up)is essential.
Web development experience required.

You must have the ability to work well with others (keep your mouth shut while incompetent fuck-ups make you feel that you are a worthless piece of shit)in a highly collaborative environment (you will constantly be second guessed and will always have some dimwitted boss with breath a combination of this morning's coffee and last night's garlic hanging over your shoulder).

Experience in Macromedia Flash, Photoshop, Illustrator, Imageready, Quark,
Acrobat, Swift 3D, QuickTime, Realmedia, Windows Media Player, Premeire and
Dreamweaver a must (what a bargain YOU will be. We should really be hiring 3 people for this fucking job).
Experience in Microsoft Project a plus (because then the executive producer can shift their responsibilities to you too!).

If this position/location interests you, (there is something seriously fucking wrong with you).please forward me a 'word' copy of
your resume, and your contact details.(If not, Oh well there are a million other desperate fuckers in need of a job out there - so long sucker)